Tokyo Do's and Don'ts

The key to avoiding the title "Ugly American" (applicable no matter where you're from) is to know something about the culture of the country you're visiting. This primer will get you started -- and remember, when in doubt, watch and imitate what others are doing.

Alcohol

While you can buy everything from beer to whisky from vending machines on just about every street, please remember that the legal drinking age in Japan is 20. Drinking and driving is strictly punished. You may wonder how the drinking age might actually be enforced in a country where alcohol is so readily available from machines: the Japanese assure visitors that consumption by minors is not a problem "because it is illegal". While this may sound like a naive assertion, it makes perfect sense once you've spent any time at all in Japan.

Bowing

People in Japan bow -- a lot. While visitors are not expected to know the complexities of the bow, a few tips will help. First, bow from the waist with the arms straight at your sides. Imitate the bows you receive (there are lots of rules regarding the depth of bows -- social abstractions that take decades to learn). Don't overbow or ignore the greeting. It's better to smile politely and nod your head than to be perceived as rude. After awhile, you'll find yourself bowing automatically (when I encountered a Japanese coworker at my office in Los Angeles, I automatically found myself bowing in greeting).

Etiquette - Guests

The Japanese are gift-givers. If you're invited to their homes (very rare, as the culture tends to entertain in public places), bring a gift -- the hotel's concierge can assist in this matter if necessary. While we are very fond of the gift melon concept, flowers, candy, or alcohol are also appropriate (besides, a good melon in Tokyo can cost a small fortune). For any kindness done, be sure to be profusely thankful. You may feel awkward, but your return gestures will be remembered and appreciated.

Hygiene

Western-style restrooms are generally found in larger department stores and many restaurants. If you encounter a Japanese-style toilet, remember that you squat (or aim) facing the raised hood of the unit (it takes some getting used to, but it is quite sanitary). Always carry tissues or toilet paper with you -- not every restroom stocks these items. And, we've found, paper towels are also scarce in restrooms. It's helpful to note that a current marketing trend involves printing advertisements on small packages of tissue. These packages are usually handed out around the major subway stations and can come in quite handy.
Blowing your nose in public is considered to be bad manners. Excuse yourself and go into the restroom.

While the number of public baths in Tokyo has declined, the custom is still prevalent. Men and women bathe separately except in outdoor hot springs. You will be guided through the process, however the ritual is generally the same in all situations: first, remove your clothing and (after discretely covering the front of your body with your washcloth), proceed to the bath area; before actually entering the bath, you must first wash yourself; basins and stools are situated near faucets -- fill the basin with water, sit on the stool, soap down completely, then rinse off the soap; once you're clean, then you may enter the bath. The water will be very hot (ease in slowly), but after a while, relaxation seeps into your bones and peace enters your soul.

Language - Spoken

Japanese is a phonetic language, and that makes it easy to learn some basic phrases. English is generally read and spoken by younger Japanese people, however, the differences between Japanese and English generally make conversation very difficult. Stick with the basics, carry a phrase book, and try to elicit the help of your concierge for directions and information whenever possible.

Language - Written

Conveniently, the language has three different written formats: kanji, hiragana, and katakana. While kanji is the most complex and not easily learned, a basic understanding of hiragana and katakana will be very useful (both are phonetic, and a basic understanding of them can help in translating menus); most train stations (at least in Tokyo) have the current and upcoming stations indicated in a combination of kanji, hiragana, and romanji -- the Arabic symbol version of the language. With a little training, you too can read menus with ease...slowly, but easily. Power Japanese (a CD-ROM based learning program) is highly recommended as a way to learn the language.

Money

It is considered to be rude to count the change that has been handed back to you after making a purchase. This is a culture that prides itself on its honesty -- it's better to be trusting (plus, are you really in a position to translate the currency quickly enough to make this assessment?). Credit cards are accepted almost everywhere (despite the fact that Japan is generally a cash-basis society. ATM machines are also widely available (but play it safe -- before leaving home, visit your bank and change your PIN to a 4-digit number; don't follow my lead by learning that not all machines around the world have the fun little letter/number combination on the keys or that they only accept 4-digit PINs).

Politeness

The Japanese are nothing if not polite. In fact, they are so polite that varying degrees of politeness (or lack thereof) are often used to convey rudeness. One of the great complexities of the Japanese language actually involves the many different words that are often used to communicate the same meaning. Some words are considered to be far more polite than others. Even if you don't intend to speak much Japanese, this is an important concept to understand during your stay in Japan. At all times try your best to be VERY polite.

Shoes

When, where, why, and how shoes are worn in Japan can be confusing. Generally, shoes are not worn in Japanese homes, temples, ryokan, and various other public places (including some restaurants). Again, it's helpful to follow the lead of locals -- don't panic, your shoes won't be stolen while you're off touring a temple. Sometimes, slippers will be provided to guests. These slippers generally fall into two categories: house slippers (for walking the halls, but remove them before walking on tatami) and bathroom slippers (remove the house slippers, put on the bathroom slippers, do whatever you're going to do, remove the bathroom slippers, replace the house slippers, continue on your way).

Tipping

It's true -- tipping is not customary in Japan. Whether in a taxi or restaurant, you pay the price indicated. Note however, that some establishments may add a service charge (10 - 15%) to bills, although this is generally limited to higher priced establishments.

Visiting Cards

Visiting cards, or business cards, are essential for business travelers. The meishi are exchanged in small ceremonies whereby the parties bow and present their cards with both hands to each other (if you're in a business situation, watch your hosts for guidance) -- the recipient of the card should be able to read the information while you're presenting the card, so take care to ensure that the printed information is facing in the correct direction. The concierge at your hotel will be able to help those who don't have cards of their own (or, if you have the available resources, you can save quite a bit of money by printing up the cards on your own before leaving home -- I priced the cards at about 100 for $100).